Did God Forget About Me?

Something happened to me on the way to fulfilling my dreams. God forgot about me. Well, actually he didn’t, but at the time it felt like he did.

I was 24 years old when I got into full-time vocational ministry. Things started off better than I ever imagined they would. I was hired by a large church right out of Bible college. I assumed the position of youth pastor. Between middle school, high school, and college I was in charge of over 200 students. With little youth ministry experience I was in way over my head. I was treading water, but slowly I began to learn about ministry.

About a year and a half into my ministry at Century Assembly in Lodi, California, I decided it was not a good fit for me. I would later come to regret my decision. I resigned and looked for greener pastures. It took a while, but I landed a position in Livermore, California, as a youth pastor with some associate pastor responsibilities.

Things started off well, but after about a year the church began to decline. One day the pastor informed me they could no longer afford to keep me on staff. Karen and I were kind of relieved, to be honest. It was not the best experience, although I learned a lot in my time there.

The next two years were very difficult. Karen and I moved to an apartment in Santa Cruz and then to my parents' house in Morgan Hill, and finally to Karen’s parents’ house in Pine Grove, a little town in Gold Country. Karen and I held down different jobs for a couple of years to pay bills.

During this time I was sending out my résumé to different churches hoping to get back into full-time ministry. Something very peculiar happened to me during that time. I managed to get several interviews, but none of them panned out. Let me explain.

A church would call me up and tell me they saw my résumé and they were interested in interviewing me for a ministry position. I would go to the interview and as far as I could tell everything went great! I know how to read a room and I also know how to interview well. After each interview I could tell there was excitement in the room and the church was interested in me.

A few days later I would hear back from the church and everything had changed. I could hear it in their voices. This happened over and over until I began to feel like something was wrong with me. I started second-guessing myself. I even wondered if God had really called me into ministry. Nothing was working out.

One day I called in sick to my construction job. I didn’t have the flu or a cold—I was seriously depressed. I crawled into a fetal position in my room and cried and prayed all day. I begged God to get me out of my misery.

I kept asking God, “Why is this happening to me?” “Did I sin?” “Did you change your mind about me?” “Did you forget about me?”

With God’s help I was able to pull myself together and face the world with a new resolve. About that time a friend of mine who I had gone to college with called me up and shared some information that changed everything for me.

He said, “Steve, the pastor you worked for in Livermore is bad-mouthing you all over the district.”

I was in shock, especially since this particular pastor and his wife invited Karen and me to lunch and dinner quite often. I even went to battle with some folks in that church to defend his integrity.

Now everything finally made sense. On my résumé and at the top of my references was this pastor's name. Since my reputation in the Northern California District was ruined, I started sending my résumé to churches in Southern California.

I didn’t know a lot about Southern California, but Karen and I went to San Diego for our honeymoon and I knew I loved San Diego. Sure enough, a church in San Diego County opened up. I tried out for the position and got it.

It turned out to be one of the highlights of my ministry career and gave me eight years of preparation for my next assignment in Ocean Beach.

Did God forget about me? Not at all. He took Karen and me on an unexpected detour to help us fulfill our dreams.

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” If you feel like God has forgotten about you, be assured he hasn’t. In Hebrews 13:5 God says, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

Stay close to Jesus,
Steve