When You Feel Inferior
When I was a junior in high school, I began to think about college. My father was a high school dropout, and my mother graduated from high school. Education was not emphasized in our home, probably because it was not emphasized in my parents' homes. My father went on to be a very successful businessman. My mother was a voracious reader and passed that on to me. No one on either side of my family had gone to college, so it wasn't something I thought about much.
The idea of going to college didn’t even enter my mind until I realized I had an opportunity to get a scholarship. Some high-profile college coaches approached me about being a part of their track program. One day, I made an appointment to see our high school counselor. I thought maybe he could answer some of my questions and hopefully point me in the right direction as it related to getting a scholarship. He was pleasant at first. At some point, he pulled up my transcript — and that’s when everything changed. I was not an A student. I majored in track and girls, and my grades reflected it. His demeanor changed. He told me there was very little chance of me getting a scholarship. It felt like he was staring at a big L on my forehead. I had more questions, but he had clearly lost interest in me. I walked out of his office feeling less than — like I had no value. Eventually, I was offered a scholarship, but I had a hard time shaking off feelings of inferiority. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor was right.
How many times have you allowed someone to make you feel inferior because you came to the conclusion that what they said to you or about you must be true?
Looking back on what my high school counselor said, it’s not so much what he said — it’s the way he said it. If I were in his place and I saw my grades, my first reaction would have been, “This kid needs help.” But what I got from him was, “This kid is a throwaway who will never amount to anything.”
When people offer us their honest opinions, I think we should always listen to see if there is any truth in what they are saying — but we should never allow it to make us feel inferior. I’ve had people tell me things about myself that were hard to hear. In some cases, they were true — and it wasn’t exactly good news. However, I know that if I’m going to grow as a person, I need to take those kinds of words to heart. What I should never do is allow those words to crush my spirit and define me as a person.
God's Word shouts to us over and over that we are loved and that we have great value. I can feel that when I’m reading the Bible over a cup of coffee in the morning. What’s of more significance is how we feel when we get a negative report in the afternoon about our work, or an email from someone who makes a disparaging remark about our character.
Our value is not determined by what people think about us. It’s not determined by winning or losing. It’s not determined by good or bad hair days.
Our value is determined by God — and God loves us so much that He sent His Son to die for us.
If God thinks we are that valuable, maybe we should agree with Him and stop putting ourselves down. Is there someone, or possibly some circumstances, that are causing you to feel inferior? It only happens with your consent.
Stay close to Jesus,
Steve