The Honeymoon Phase

I remember our honeymoon like it was yesterday. Karen and I had so much fun. The year was 1980. We got married in Lodi. It was a big wedding—over four hundred people attended. The reception was awesome, and then it was time to head out to our honeymoon destination. San Diego, here we come!

I wasn’t much of a planner back then. Like a couple of hippies, we made our plans as we went along. Our budget for this two-week adventure was pieced together with money I saved from my twelve-thousand-dollar-a-year salary and the money people gave us at the wedding. I booked a Holiday Inn for our first night, but after that the adventure was on. This was long before cell phones and GPS systems. Road maps and pay phones were an everyday part of traveling.

One night we ended up at this flea-bag motel close to Disneyland. A bunch of bikers rented the room next to ours. They partied all night and at one point decided to ride their Harleys into their room and spin donuts. It was a terrifying night for us. That was one of many crazy experiences we had on our honeymoon.

On the way back to Lodi, we ran out of money. Karen had an aunt and uncle who lived in Ventura who had invited us to stop by on our way home. We ended up staying at their place for a couple nights. Uncle Floyd, a comptroller for the Navy, was stationed at Point Mugu. Their place was located on the beach. It was nicer than any of the motels/hotels we had stayed at. Not only did they put us up for a couple of nights, they gave us their master suite and Aunt, Alveda, cooked for us. Did I mention we were out of money? Uncle Floyd and Aunt Alveda gave us enough money to make it back home.

The first year of our marriage was magic—we lived on love. However, love doesn’t pay the rent or put gas in the cars, so it was time to get busy with life. At some point, the honeymoon was over. We were still madly in love, but definitely no longer in the infatuation stage.

It wasn’t long before our love would be tested. We found ourselves in between jobs. I was a youth pastor in my second church, but the church ran out of money and I had to step down. To make matters worse, the pastor of this church blackballed me for the next two years. Life was becoming more complicated, and our love for each other was being tested. In year four, while living with Karen’s parents, I did construction work and Karen picked up temp jobs. One morning while I was shaving, Karen informed me we were going to be parents. The timing was impeccable—broke and, well, broke!

Being broke turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Our first child was paid for by Medical. After we moved to Southern California, we came into a happy season in our lives. We had another child, and things were going swimmingly well in youth ministry. In year 13 we moved to Ocean Beach so I could pastor my first church. Everything looked good, but then things took a turn for the worse. The next couple of years would be the darkest years of my life. I don’t have the space to tell that story, but it took our marriage to the brink of disaster. Would our love be strong enough to survive my dark night of the soul? I give all the credit to God and my wife for saving our marriage. I was too broken to fix anything.

Today Karen and I share a love that is tried, tested, and deeply rooted in Christ.

I’ve shared this story with you to make a point. When we come into a relationship with Jesus, we immediately enter the honeymoon period of our faith journey. I think God gives special grace to us in the honeymoon phase. We are like Steve and Karen on their honeymoon—receiving extra grace because they are clueless.

However, in time life comes at us full force, and our faith is tested. Sadly, many people walk away from their commitment to Jesus after the honeymoon is over. We might ask, “Why is that? Why do so many people walk away from their relationship with Jesus shortly after the honeymoon period?” According to the Parable of the Sower and the Seed told by Jesus in Mark 4:1–20, they didn’t get their roots down deep enough.

Here’s the good news—it doesn’t have to be that way. If you are past the honeymoon phase with Jesus, it’s time to dig in and get some roots down. Get into God’s Word daily. Have a daily prayer time. Go to church and experience a dynamic spiritual community. Jesus said it this way in Matthew 6:33, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Karen and I have discovered that the honeymoon might be over, but the best is yet to come.

Stay close to Jesus,
Steve