Learning To Be Patient
Have you ever regretted being impatient?
Maybe you rushed into a decision, reacted too quickly to someone, or tried to force something before the time was right. Most of us can look back and remember moments when a little more patience could have saved us a lot of trouble.
As we continue through the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5, we come to one that can be especially challenging: patience.
Patience is sometimes translated as longsuffering or forbearance. It's more than simply tolerating an inconvenient delay. Biblical patience includes restraint when people provoke us, disappoint us, or when life isn't moving at the speed we'd like.
And patience isn't something we're expected to manufacture entirely on our own. It is fruit of the Spirit—something God develops within us as we walk with Him.
Patience Is Worth the Wait
First Corinthians 13:4 begins with a simple statement:
“Love is patient.”
Patience is a gift to us, but it's also a gift we give to the people around us.
And we certainly get plenty of opportunities to practice it.
We spend so much of our lives waiting:
For an answer
For a person to change
For ourselves to grow
For God to do something we cannot do
The problem comes when we get tired of waiting and decide to force the outcome ourselves.
A helpful definition is:
“Patience is trusting God enough to keep loving, keep obeying, and not forcing outcomes.”
So where do we need to learn patience?
1. I Need to Be Patient With Myself
God is working in each of us, but that work doesn't always happen as quickly as we'd like.
Romans 8 tells us that God is working in our lives with a purpose: to make us more like Jesus.
That's a lifelong process.
Still, it's easy to become frustrated with ourselves:
Why am I still struggling with this?
Why do I keep making the same mistakes?
Why does everyone else seem further along than me?
Shouldn't I be more spiritually mature by now?
Sometimes the harshest voice in our lives is our own.
We say things to ourselves that God would never say to us. God may correct us, but He does so with patience and love.
“Sometimes we expect instant maturity from a life God is patiently transforming.”
We want microwave results, but spiritual growth often looks more like a slow cooker. God is doing something in us that takes time.
Patience Doesn't Mean Staying the Same
Being patient with yourself isn't permission to stop growing.
God loves us as we are, but He also loves us enough to continue changing us.
The Apostle Paul is a great example. Earlier in his ministry, he had such a strong disagreement with Barnabas over John Mark that the two ministry partners separated. Years later, however, Paul spoke of John Mark as someone valuable to his ministry.
Paul had changed.
That's encouraging because it reminds us that we are capable of change, too—especially through the work of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 12:12 says:
“Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.”
Be honest about how far you still have to go, but don't forget how far God has already brought you.
Instead of only asking, “Why am I not there yet?” take time to recognize the progress God has already made in your life.
2. I Need to Be Patient With Others
Once we begin receiving God's patience toward us, we become better at extending patience to others.
Ephesians 4:2 says:
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
We all want people to be patient with us when we make mistakes, show up late, drop the ball, or disappoint someone.
But when someone else does the same thing?
That's when patience gets difficult.
First Thessalonians 5:14 tells us to:
Warn those who need direction
Encourage the discouraged
Help the weak
Be patient with everyone
Different people need different things from us.
Some need encouragement. Some need instruction. Some need correction. Others simply need someone willing to come alongside them and help.
Jesus didn't treat every person exactly the same. He understood what people needed and responded accordingly.
Patience Changes Our Response
Patience becomes especially important in the ordinary aggravations of everyday life.
It might be:
The interruption when you're already tired
The coworker who doesn't work at your pace
The family member who keeps making the same mistake
The person whose opinions irritate you
The child who needs the same instructions again
Proverbs 14:29 says:
“Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.”
Patience doesn't mean pretending something isn't frustrating.
Instead:
“Patience creates space between what someone does and how I respond.”
Before reacting, pause and ask:
What does love require of me in this situation?
Maybe that person needs you to listen.
Maybe they need encouragement.
Maybe they need instruction.
Maybe they simply need the same patience that God has repeatedly shown you.
3. I Need to Be Patient With God
This may be the hardest one.
Psalm 37:7 says:
“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.”
Waiting on God can be difficult because we don't always understand what He's doing—or why He's taking so long.
We wonder:
Why hasn't this prayer been answered?
Why does injustice continue?
Why hasn't this door opened?
Why is healing taking so long?
Why hasn't this relationship been restored?
Waiting becomes especially difficult when we mistake God's silence for God's absence.
But God isn't absent.
And He isn't unreliable.
We need to trust God's character when we cannot understand His timing.
Second Peter 3:9 reminds us that what looks like slowness to us may actually be evidence of God's patience.
God sees things we don't see.
He knows things we don't know.
And sometimes His answer will look very different from the answer we were expecting.
What Do We Do While We're Waiting?
When you're waiting on God, it can be tempting to take matters into your own hands.
But instead of forcing the outcome:
Keep praying honestly. You don't have to pretend everything is okay. Tell God when waiting is difficult.
Keep doing the good already in front of you. Don't stop obeying because you're frustrated.
Seek wise counsel. Talk with someone spiritually mature who can help you see the situation clearly.
Refuse shortcuts that require disobedience. Impatience can tempt us to do something we already know isn't God's best.
Leave room for God's answer to be different from your preferred answer. His answer may not look the way you expected.
Waiting doesn't mean God isn't working.
Sometimes waiting is exactly where God is doing some of His deepest work in us.
Jesus Has Been Patient With Us
If you ask God for more patience, don't be surprised when He gives you opportunities to practice it.
Patience grows in difficult situations.
It grows when someone tests us.
It grows when the answer doesn't come quickly.
It grows when we're tempted to force something and instead choose to trust God.
But here's the good news:
The Christian message isn't simply that God commands us to be more patient.
The good news is that Jesus has been incredibly patient with us.
He is patient with people who learn slowly, fail repeatedly, and need to hear the truth again.
That's all of us.
And the more we understand His patience toward us, the more His Spirit can produce patience within us.
So take some time to ask yourself:
Where do I need to keep growing without giving up on myself?
Who specifically do I need to be more patient with?
What am I trying to force right now instead of trusting God?
Maybe today is the day to stop forcing the outcome and say:
God, I'm going to trust You.