Do I Bring Value?

I was listening to John Maxwell, a Christian leadership guru, a while back and he said something that strongly resonated with me. He said “Do you bring value to the people around you? Do you bring value to a room when you walk into it? Do you bring value to the daily situations you encounter?” Not only did I find those questions thought-provoking, I felt some degree of Holy Spirit conviction.

If I’m being honest, sometimes I care more about how people perceive me than I do about bringing value to them. I don’t think I’m the only one who struggles with this. It’s hard not to catch the selfie virus. We put pictures of ourselves on social media that make us look our very best.

A while back, I was visiting family in New Mexico. We were hiking, and at some point, I said, “Let’s get a picture of us.” I held my phone up and clicked off a few pictures. Later on, I looked over the pictures and picked what I thought was a good picture. Of course, I based my decision on how I looked. I didn’t have my reading glasses on, but I thought everyone else looked pretty good. After I posted the picture on social media, I got an earful from my daughter and my wife. Apparently, they didn’t think the picture of them was very flattering. When I put on my reading glasses, I realized they were right.

Note to self, Steve — next time, put on your reading glasses!

In Jesus, we see a person who brought value to every person and to every situation. He didn’t care what people thought about Him because He was on a mission to help everyone.

The question is — how do we get to a place where we are more focused on others than ourselves?

I think the obvious answer is we stop focusing so much on ourselves and start focusing on others. When I start thinking about others and how I can help them, it changes everything. It actually takes the pressure off me because as long as I’m thinking about how I look or whether I’m impressing those around me, I’m going to feel a certain level of anxiety. Taking my mind off myself gets me out of my head. Have you ever struggled with that? I actually do a little self-talk to help me with this problem. When I’m getting into my head, I say, “Steve, get out of your head.” I also ask Jesus to help me — and He does.

Let’s create some scenarios that might better explain what I’m talking about. If your job requires you to work alongside other people, there’s an opportunity for you to bring value to those around you. However, this requires you to be aware of those people and to think about them instead of thinking about yourself.

If you are married, do you bring value to your spouse when you come home from work or when they come home from work? I know it’s natural to want to give ourselves a hall pass on this one. We might rationalize to ourselves that we’re tired and not in the mood to contribute anything until we’re ready. The problem with that line of thinking is that our spouse or significant other or family member may be in need now and not later.

Bringing value to others can happen when we are up to it — but life doesn’t always work that way. More often than not, the opportunity to bring value to someone will happen when it’s not convenient.

This is where the hard work of love comes into play. Love is more than a feeling. As Bob Goff says, “Love does!” Becoming more self-aware is not about how we look, but how we affect the people around us.

Here is my challenge to you. Starting today and for the next week, before you engage in a conversation, walk into a room full of people, come home to your spouse, family, or roommate — ask yourself this question:

“How can I bring value?”

I’ve been asking myself these questions daily for the last three months, and I have to say — it’s making me a better man.

Stay close to Jesus,

Steve